If I was tired, I ate. If I was worried, I ate. If I was late, or angry, or even happy, I ate. I dieted with all my willpower, but I weighed 245 pounds (111 kilos), and when I woke up in the morning, I’d see myself in the mirror, bent over like an old woman. Through FA and with the help of my Higher Power, I lost more than 115 pounds (52 kilos), but that’s not the most important part of my story. The miracle is that I have stayed slim and abstinent for almost forty years and that for many years I’ve not had even a moment of desire for anything other than my abstinent food—no matter what I’ve had to face.
I tried my first diet one summer when I was about fourteen. Between bulimia, dieting, running, and eventually laxatives, I lost too much weight. I tried to stay ten pounds (5 kilos) underweight, and the purging helped to keep me thin, but my life was a mess. At twenty-five, in FA and abstinent, I finally stabilized at a healthy weight.
By the time I was 53 and came into FA, my cholesterol was about 300, and my blood sugar was so high I was pre-diabetic. I’d struggled for years, driven by fear of failure. Progressing into full-blown food addiction, I was filled with rage and guilt. In FA, my cholesterol plummeted and my blood sugar levels normalized. I lost weight and kept it off, but even more, I’ve had moments of tremendous joy and peace. FA has made it possible for me to let go of my attachment to food so that I can hear an inner voice—the voice of my Higher Power.
